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Fix Your Partner - the Blog

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Every week I will introduce a topic that comes up in counseling with my clients and offer ways you can navigate the issue if it shows up in your relationship.

Are you putting back in?

By Marlon Familton, May 1 2015 12:50AM

When you take out, do you put back in? Your relationship is a partnership. This means you and your partner are supposed to feel like a team. When one of you pitches in more energy to help the other, that energy has to come back around or things won't feel fair. When lack of fairness persists, resentment will settle in.

In order to curb unfairness, you have to make sure you offer and try to put back in. If you have worked late three nights in a row leaving your partner home alone or managing the kids, don't expect them to smile when you announce you're heading out with friends on night four. They have just sacraficed time with you to let you do your thing. What will come back their way? Something has to feel fair for them or they will become resentful.

So the next time you ask to take out of the relationship, be sure to offer something in return.

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